Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Not Your Buddy

I was looking around a website and saw a link for the webzine Boundless. I decided to take a look at that, and while there I read three articles that I would like to share. My intent for posting them is more to share them with my sisters who have struggled with this issue... but guys, it wouldn't hurt for you to read them too. ;)
It's hard to be a single Christian girl - there's no doubt about that. You'll hear it from nearly every girl that there just doesn't seem to be any good Christian guys out there today. lol But the problem is that because of thoughts like this, we girls tend to go looking for that kind of relationship in other things. And the most common way we think we find what we're looking for is in close friendships with guys. Everyone in these types of guy/girl friendships thinks that it'll never get complicated and that neither of them will ever get hurt. Sadly, that's just not possible! I've fallen prey to these thoughts before and have been hurt because of them.
A few months ago I promised myself I'd never get involved in an intimate friendship with a guy again. A lot of friends said not to say that, and that having friendships like that can't be all that bad, that I was just overreacting, etc. But reading these articles reminded me again of why I made that decision. The truth is that when we form these kinds of friendships, they do lead to at least one person feeling like it's going to lead to more, and when it doesn't lead to more, someone gets hurt.
I'm not saying that guys and girls can't be friends... and neither are these articles. But I am saying that as friends there are lines to draw. Getting caught up in an intimate friendship crosses those lines before you know it and often we're blind to that crossing. I've had guy "friends" tell me they thought I was their soulmate, or that I may be "the one"... all while we were "just friends." Obviously we crossed the line somewhere! Other times it's not quite as obvious, but line-crossing still occurred at some point. But can I point the finger and blame these guys for saying stuff like that? No, of course not. I'm just as much to blame. And as a result, I've hurt guys, and guys have hurt me. And that's just not what should be happening between Christian brothers and sisters.
I see this all the time, all around me... which is why I want to link to these articles and encourage you to read them. If you're facing this kind of thing, please pray about it and make a decision as to whether or not it's right that you're in the intimate friendship you're in. And encourage others to do the same. :)

Article #1: Not Your Buddy

Article #2: Just Friends

Article #3: Stuck in the Just-Friends Zone

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